It has been almost a year since I started to write with the aim to help me clear my mind of clutter so I can live life in the present.
This is my 40th entry.
Most of my entries were of past reference, mainly of the loss of my dear husband and the wonderful memory of our lives together.
My past makes me who I am today.
I should start talking more of my present. Not just the morbidity of hardship, the struggles of daily living, but also of the wonders and gifts that has been given to me.
Yes, I know, the last few entries have been of confusion, frustration, feeling of senseless loss and loneliness. It reflects the uncertainty of what is happening to me now. There is more behind this story than what I was willing to reveal. But the last few days had given me a clearer picture of the entire situation.
I have met someone. He is very special to me. The burden I feel now is the burden of not being able to be with him. I've been through this before. The first separation I experienced was one that was beyond my control. Allah had taken him back. This current separation is due entirely of humanly choices. Circumstances. Darling, I know you are reading this. I also know that you know me well (and vice versa). You know what is in my head and my heart, hence I need not say more.
5 comments:
i guessed as much.
May the best be etched for you - whatever it may be.
You are very good with your guessing. (And I had to look up the meaning of 'etched'....hehehehe)
Thank you D. Prayers go out daily asking for nothing less than the best.
i am praying for the best for u too..
I love your blog. A great writer and a strong fighter. I love your blog.
mommy of two
thank you Lilinbiru. Prayers go out for all of us!
And for mommy of two, thank you to you too.....a great writer? wow! U are too kind.
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