Labour Day

Feeling nostalgic again.....

I know I said I'd write more of the present, but I cannot help it. Its my baby's birthday. She will be 9 tomorrow. My God, how time flies......

9 years ago today, I was finalising the things I needed to pack for my admission into hospital the next day. I was going to have a new baby tomorrow! All excited, yet scared and sad under the current circumstances.

We were at the hospital earlier. He had gone to his post chemotherapy clinic review, and I went for my antenatal check up.

I laid there on the examination bed as this little human inside me moved around. I heard the familiar snapping of the gloves as my obstetrician got ready to examine me. I had done this countless of time to many of my patients, but when it came to myself, I became tense.

"Relax...." she said, the same advice I gave my patients when I did the vaginal examination. And in a blink, it was over.

"OK" she said.

"You are 4 cm dilated. Do you want to come in now and have your baby?" she asked me.

"What, now?" I asked again in disbelieve. I didn't feel any pain, but the baby was moving around a bit more than usual.

"Well, that is what 'now' usually means..." she joked back.

My head was spinning with all the things that needed to be done. The baby wasn't due until next week, and my husband was still upstairs at his clinic check-up. I needed to know how he was before I could make any decisions. Anyway, the baby was coming, either today or definitely tomorrow.

"I need to see how my husband is doing first. He is upstairs". The Obstetrician knew of his condition. She nodded.

"Well, you know the signs of active labour. Come in tomorrow, or anytime earlier if you need to." she said.

I got up (and dressed) and left after thanking her. I made my way up to the medical clinic and met him in the waiting room. He was waiting for his prescription.

"How did it go?" I asked him.

"So far the chemo is going well. If the bloods stay good, we'll have the next cycle in 2 weeks." He nodded as he spoke.

"OK." I replied. Every time he was admitted for his chemotherapy, I'd stay with him in hospital and slept on the foldable chair. The last time was a weeks ago. The chair was becoming increasingly uncomfortable as my tummy got bigger, but I didn't mind. Being with him was more important. But I'll be in confinement this time around. I started to worry as wrinkles started to form on my forhead as my eye brows started to crunch closer.

"What did the Obst say?" he asked.

"Huh?" My mind was a mile away.

"What - did - she - say?" he asked me again in single words.

"Oh...that. Yeah, I am 4 cm dilated and the baby is coming soon"

"Are you feeling ok? Do you want to be admitted today?" he asked.

"No, I am still ok. We need to get baby stuff though! Diapers and some newborn clothes." I had totally forgotten to prepare for this little one.

So, off we went to the nearest shopping mall and I went shopping! 4cm dilated and I was shopping.....Thinking back, I was a lot younger then and I felt invincible. Imagine if my membranes ruptured in the Mall.....the poor cleaner.....

But my water didn't break, and we made it home.

By that evening, contractions were coming irregularly.

As I packed my bag for tomorrow, I looked lovingly at my husband.

"She is our little unplanned gift." I whispered. He didn't hear me. He was already in deep sleep. Today's activities were a bit too much for him to handle and he needed to rest. Who will look after him in two weeks time when he goes in for another course of chemo? I prayed to Allah that I will be strong enough by then to accompany him.

9 years ago, around this time in the evening, I finished packing my bag and layed next to him as I drifted off to sleep.