"Close your eyes" I instructed myself, as I played the role as my therapist in this bizarre self help programme.
"Relax and take deep breaths and just let it out slowly through your pursed lips", which I followed obediently.
"Feel your heart rate slowing.....now breath normally......slowly.......relax....."
"Now think of a happy moment."
A happy moment? It's been a while.......
I expected images of my wedding to come into my head, or the day the children were born. Significant happy moments.
None of those images appeared.
Instead, I saw myself walking up the hill to Churchill Square, holding his hands and smiling.
It was those everyday things that made me happy. Nothing significant. No big events. Just everyday things.
I was happy everyday.