Monday, March 7, 2011

Sharing of Passion

As I sat at my PC this evening, I heard my son scream with joy downstairs as Liverpool scored their first goal against ManU.

I shift restlessly in my seat as I hear the excitement in his voice as he watched the match alone. We usually watch the Liverpool matches together, if the time isn't anything after midnight.

"WHOOOAAA!" he yells again.

Ok, that was it! I ran down to see what the commotion was all about.

We watched the match together and experienced a well deserving win by Liverpool. Suarez was a good buy and worked wonders with Kuyt. We are pleased.

My passion for football began with my late husband. He was passionate about the game and enjoyed watching it. What he enjoyed, I enjoyed too. I love sharing with the ones I love, be it sports, food, travel, career or even depache mode.

Sharing a passion with a loved one makes it even more passionate.

But as a result of watching football, I now have to burn a bit of the midnight oil to finish this research proposal.


Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Too Well Adapted

7 years and 3 months.

I have been a single mummy for 7 years and 3 months. I have achieved a lot in the past 7 years and 3 months, Alhamdulillah.

But don't take it for granted that I have been able to do it for 7 years and 3 months, I can continue to do it for much longer. Or can I?

I have coped this long, gone through this much, and has achieved so much. I'm sure I can go on as I am.

"Really?" said a voice in my head.

"Yes, really." That's my stubborn subconscious talking now.

"REALLY?" asked the voice again.

"Yes, really! I wouldn't know how to do anything but as what I am doing now. And it has been so long living on my own, I don't think I can live with another. I like to have my room to myself, my own bathroom, my own bed. I can make my own plans without having to consult another 'half'. (Though I have to pass the review board aka parents). So, yes REALLY."

I am so well adapted to how I am now, it will be very hard to un-learn these new skills of being independent. I have forgotten how to discuss with someone about plans, sacrifices, compromises, distribution of burden and sharing. I don't think I'll make a good life partner to anyone now. I have become selfish, with the intention to survive.

Just a little ramble to myself. It's approaching midnight. Tomorrow I may feel differently.