Wisdom through Cause and Effect

It used to anger me when people said that "at least you had a chance to take care of him. Sudden deaths are a lot worst for those who are left behind." WHAT? And that comment was supposed to make me feel better? A loss is a loss at the end of the day, regardless whether it was sudden or through long illness. Tell me how looking after a person I love so much in his 4 years of illness makes it any better when he died? The rocky road of 'recoveries' and setbacks. He was getting better, then he wasn't....He overcame the acute infection, only to have complications from drug reactions etc.....and this journey towards his death was all supposed to make it better? It didn't make sense. I felt like yelling at the people who made those comments...and there were many!

But that was me going through the "anger" stage of mourning my loss. On acceptance now, I look back in a different light. It was a journey, a journey much cherished. It did prepare me, and I felt I had done all I can. We both did. There will be the occasion of "if only I had noticed that earlier, he might not have deteriorated so much". But as Allah had decided, even before we were born, the specific day, place and time of our death exact to the second. There should not be any regrets.

I digress....

Anyway, there is always the Hikmah of sudden death and that following chronic illness. In sudden death, there would not have been any hardship associated with loss of health, disability and painfully watching oneself/loved ones deteriorate by the day. That's a hikmah. In death following chronic illness, you get the opportunity to reflect, repent and learn to grow closer through hardship. That too is a hikmah.