Not unexpectedly, both children came down with chickenpox. So, there we were, 3 spotty, itchy, grumpy people, cooped in the house. What a sight.....what a week. As I got better, the kids got worst. Which meant no rest for me (again).
It hasn't been an easy start to the new academic year for me. But, apparently, thats the trend with me. Nothing comes easy, but when I do reach the final destination, the reward is overwhelmingly worth it. I cannot wait for that day. I pray to Allah that I am kept strong to pursue this dream. My husband had encouraged me to continue my studies, and thats what I am doing.
It is during these few hard days (which comes in many these days) that emotions become less rational, and tears become more available. It is during these times that vulnerabilities makes me make stupid and hasty decisions. Makes me say silly things, which I will undoubtedly regret later. It is times when the mind starts to cloud with negativity that I spiral into a sense of helplessness. Its quite a dark fall. I feel nauseated.
It is also these times when I wish back for the stability and happiness that I once had. But that is just wishing for the impossible. It is also a reflection of ungratefulness. That is scary. I don't want not to be grateful. These are the times when I miss him most.
Move on....got to keep moving on. Life is just so temporary. I keep telling myself. Get a grip! Remember, the afterlife is my destiny, and what we make of this life will determine our eternity. Its all good.
Confused? I certainly am. I am a bouncing bipolar manic depressive (skewed more to the depressive end)
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