report card day

I took 2 hours off work yesterday morning to go and pick up the kids report cards.

I keep telling my children that number placings in class is not the ultimate reflection of their achievements. I wanted them to enjoy what they do and feel that what ever they have achieved is based on the belief that they have tried their best.

"What number did you get?" I remembered my father asking me when I was in standard 4. It was a hot evening and the ceiling fan was spinning at full speed. I looked up at him. My heart was pounding. I didn't do too well, and my number in the class had deteriorated from number 9 to 15 or 16. It wasn't the top 10 like last semester.

I gave him my report card.

He looked at it, and with dismay he immediately flung it up in the air. I remembered it hitting the spinning ceiling fan and tossed to the corner of the room.

No conversation. No reasoning. I scrambled to pick up the report card and ran to my room. And that was where it ended, though the pain and memory stuck till this day. I had to send back the report card to my class teacher tomorrow. Like any frightened young 10 year old, I decided to forge his signature. The next morning, he asked for it again, so he could sign it. Oh no.....

"Your son has done very well. He got 8As" complimented his teacher. "Unfortunately, he also got a B, C, D and an E. That has resulted his placings to go down in the bottom quartile although his total percentage was very good".

His Arabic subjects had brought him down. I knew he had tried his best, but the subjects were just too confusing for him that he didn't know what he didn't know. Instead of wanting to blame his teachers, or him directly, we discussed to see where the problem was, and how to find the solution. I didn't want my son to feel that he had disappointed anyone, as I knew he was already disappointed in himself.

"You can do it." his teacher encouraged him. We worked out a few solutions, and will see how he goes before the year end.

"Well done." I told him. For a young man, barely 13 years old, whom does his studies driven by his own will, never did I need to push him to open up his books or force him to tuition classes, I think this is where his future success skills will lie.

This is also one of the first few teacher parent meetings that I have found incredibly fruitful. Well done to his teachers too.