It was approaching 3.15am. My wrists and fingers were getting cramps. The rolled up face towel I had placed at the end of the keyboard to help support my wrist were no match for the abuse in hours it had been in use. My eyes were getting very tired, and I do believe even the laptop screen was flickering......
My God, if I had to measure the effort I have been putting into this research and the outcome of it at the end of the day in terms of worldly materials, this is DEFINITELY not worth it. But I know it goes beyond just this present time, and it is an investment. It is a sacrifice I had chosen to take, and I cannot back out now. How much easier it would be just to say that it is too hard and I cannot cope. How much easier it is to chose something else, which will definitely be easier. How much I wish I could be in bed now sleeping........ But the choice was my own choosing, and I chose to sacrifice these little luxuries now for a better future, here and the life after. Sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice, a word not foreign to me. I understand it well. And it comes when we are given choices. And for these choices, I thank the Almighty, for giving me the option of choices. Secondly, for guiding me to make the right choices.
4 comments:
sis, i can almost say i understand what you must be feeling at this moment. just as much as i try to convince myself "nothing comes easy", i can't help regretting my decision to pursue my studies sometimes, simply because it requires too much effort and time I couldn't afford to give! but for whatever reasons, i know i cannot give in now.
honestly, somehow i find this post inspiring. i am not alone, i just need to be more sincere with my own feelings and frustration. thanks sis and you hang on there ok. and take care too..
Dr. Petite,
be strong,
seek from Allah,
He knows best!
hugs
kakak
May Allah bless u and family throughout the journey of life
thank u all.
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