I am grateful that I had spent the last 4 years of our lives together as we did. In that 4 years, I had only spent 2 nights away from him (due to work). We were always together, and his illness has brought us closer than anyone could imagine. We were close to start off with. Our 6 year romance in College was a fairy tale of dramas. My parents you see, are very protective of me. Going abroad to University at 18 I suppose was something scary for any parent. But, I had an admirer when I got there. Even the thought of it makes me smile today. He was a well respected member of our Malaysian community, he was a very smart student, athletic and as a bonus, he could sing and play the guitar! People would come up to him when they needed advice about anything. And this guy liked me? I was this outsider that didn't come from their university take. I knew no one when I got there. He was very helpful....little did I know.
Our friendship blossomed, and he became my best friend. Summer vacations and being away from him was agonising! My parents at that stage did not allow it...no boyfriends while studying! So, I couldn't share this wonderful part of my life with my family until 4 years later. Keeping secrets were always a part of it, and until now, I still can't talk about some of my deepest feelings with my family because that was how I was brought up. I make a conscious effort that I will not do the same with my children.
Everyday of our 7 year marriage is much cherrished. We have 2 beautiful children, who are so full of life that they keep me going. His spirits are always with us. We talk about him everyday. Sometimes, however, the kids want to hear something new about their daddy. I had run out of stories....Guilty as charged, I would make up believable stories about his childhood and how I would have imagined it to be. I sometimes make up stories about things we wished we did together but didn't have the opportunity. It makes the children happy. What makes them happy, makes me happy.
I am happy, much to the disbelieve of others. I am happy how things happened the way they did, and I am happy how things ended. There will be the occasional sorrows, because I am human. There will be days where I am in denial. But those days do not come often now. Do you think time has healed me? In a way, I hope it hasn't. I wasn't injured to start off with. We parted in love, and thats a happy ending.
3 comments:
Petite
Syok ya bercinta masa kat College. Macam boleh buat drama atau Film. Lagi-lagi kalau ada yang against it. So dramatic ..ehehe.. macam ceriter Hindustan lah pulak. Apa-apa pun, I pun experience the same thing. Tapi orang kata, jodoh masa tu panjangkan so kahwin jugek.
Phlegmatic,
Yes, it was pure bollywood material back in College. All very exciting and the memories always makes me smile. Its nice to have a common past with a loved one, same circle of friends and share the same experiences. Of course we all at that stage thought that life and jodoh was to old age, spending retirement and our golden years together. Isn't that a picture perfect Bollywood ending?
This entry made me have tears in my eyes.
I am so glad that you are happy. It's because of the love in your heart...
A friend whose marriage ended in a bitter divorce reminded me that I am oh so lucky to only have memories of love of my best friend.
We shared an equally Bollywood romance too, I was still in college abroad and he had graduated and back in M'sia. One Christmas curi2 jumpa in UK while visiting my cousin, and him on the pretext of visiting his friend. My parents never found out but his family did!!!
Ours was not cinta terhalang, but he wanted to get engaged to me when I still had 2 years to go and my family said not till I graduate.
Of course, we got engaged with the 'restu' of everyone 2 months after I came back and got married later in the year.
Phew... this is a long post indeed!!
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