another anniversary

Happy anniversary Abang.

13 years ago today.

Missing you with every beat, every breath, every blink.......

But as you know, we are doing ok. Our little boy is now a young man. Our chatty baby girl is blossoming by the day. We talk about you every day. Your mum called tonight. She misses you too.

13 years ago today. It was a fantastic day, wasn't it? Tears fill me of the memories, yet I smile knowing they were created with you.

Rest peacefully. Until we meet again.

Your loving wife.

Hopes, Dreams and my Prince Charming

I'm an independent woman, successful in career, respected (hopefully) in my community and loved by family and friends. I am not in any monetary hardship during these time of economic uncertainties. I am strong, I am brave, I am ambitious. I care about everyone around me. I am hopeful.

Yet, why do I desire for my Prince Charming to come and save me?

My late hubby always said I was a dreamer. I agreed. I love to dream. Some of my dreams have become reality. (Some haven't). But that's ok. I wouldn't want it all to come true. Not yet anyway. I cannot imagine my life without anything to dream about.

I asked one of my patients today, a young man who was paralysed from the waist down after an accident. I asked him what he wanted. He said "nothing". He said he wanted nothing....... My eyes watered for him.

giggles of memories

Little things trigger giggles as I remember happier times.

I saw this last weekend and thought of you. Its a flowery Hexapus.

Its wonderful to have loved you, and even more wonderful to still love you, till the end.

Failed.

I have always been afraid of failure. Ashamed of not succeeding. So, the things I had doubts in, unsure of the outcome, I would keep to myself (most of the time subconsciously).

Recently, I had failed in something that was very important to me. It didn't occur to me until now that I had kept it quiet for this exact reason. No, this is not an excuse. Its a reason. Unfortunately, the reason is also the cause of failure. If only I had been more open, maybe it would have been easier? I don't know. Regrets? Maybe.

Very complicated.....again probably out of choice.

Stupidity?.....

Old age. Definitely.

Still hoping though.